quiet hands

That you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you -1 Thessalonians 4:11


This was the verse i read this morning at my school. It's really a blessing to have that; a lot of times i take it for granted or it even seems like a burden, but i really gotta put it in perspective. My chem teacher from sophomore year opens the door for me everyday, he's a devout christian, and its just great to have a room for prayer. So i read that part of the passage about pride. Even though the new years already passed, i can still be in semi-reflection mood. I know one of the biggest character flaws when i was younger was pride. It still is an issue, but now that i look back i realize God has really helped and shaped me into what he has planned.

The way you do your actions is just as important as the actions themselves. I was talking to my friend who goes to church every week and teaches little kids bible stories, but hates life. He takes anti-depression pills and just is constantly questioning life. To an outsider at his church, they'll probably see a fake smile and a big cross and just pass by without thinking he's going through certain problems. And at the same time, there's kids that are learning the bible from him. He's doing all the right things, and saying the right words, yet his heart is stone.

lol it was awkward when i asked him if he wanted to go to church with me because he acutally goes every sunday. But im hoping whoever reads this, you can pray for him. Hopefully God can shed some light onto him.

under the sun

"What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with
which he labors under the sun?"

So after a tumultuous week, im finally done with midterms and sat's. I really don't wanna talk about the tests themselves, so im gonna talk about the people instead. In my town, school and grades are really important. Let me emphasize that again, REALLY IMPORTANT. Everyday theres someone going crazy about a test, a school that they're waiting for a reply, some science team, an extra credit question on a US test etc etc. But during a midterm, that kind of seems to compound itself into this huge snowball of anxiety. Kids study for hours upon hours and just go crazy really. I try to rationalize how this all started; part of the monster was its own doing. All the competition just makes everyone that much more insane. Alot of it has to do with rich parents and high expectations. I remember one time, Karen's mom gave me a ride home. Karen is in the 7th grade and i tutor her in math. Her mom sounded so exasperated. this is was sort of her words, "I just dont understand why karen has so much trouble studying. Every other korean kid seems to be doing so well except karen. I just dont know what to do with her."

So what im really trying to say is that its really hard sometimes to pray to God for help in school so that i can use my talents and gifts later on to improve God's kingdown becuase so much of rewards of success that the world preach is selfish. People constantly tell you to make enough money so that you can live it up when you grow up with no worries. I become hesitant when my mom tells me to pray before hte SAT's becuase i wonder what my true motivation is to do well on the test. To be honest, i really just wanna do well so that my parents stop yelling at me. I wish i could compartmentalize all that other junk with college and money, and make it very simple. God has given me gifts. I want to use it to my full potential. The fruits that i then bear are all for God. I wish i could make it that simple.

Receiving help

"Fear not, you worm Jacob, You men of Israel! I will help you, says the Lord And your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel." Isiah 41:14

This was the verse that came up for this morning in this daily email type thing. I read over the chapter and i'm glad i read it because its been pretty hectic with school and all at this point. I find myself asking help for a lot of things but i just say it very routinely. Sometimes i also feel like things such as tests in school and sats are too selfish to ask help from God, and so when i focus on it so much i feel guilty. But i think what's more important then exactly what you pray about, is that you pray for everything. What i mean is that i want to ask God for help in every aspecto f my life because i want him to be in control of everything, including maybe the trivial things. Alot of times the little things end up becoming a lot more then you expect at first.
"Tis much for thee to need but it is nothing for me to bestow." That verse was really comforting becuase i know that there's nothing to much for God, or that God will always have time for me, even when i dont wanna make time for him. So next time im having an argument with a friend, or someone asks for a favor, iwant to ask God for his help so that i'm doing things that the way he wants me to do them, even the little things.

discipline

Hey, i remembered to post on time! wooo


This week has been pretty wierd, we came back from break and midterms/sat's are coming up. But with the retreat we just had in mind, im trying to work on discipline. I remember one time my old pastor gave a sermon on how to improve your relationship with christ. I was kinda hoping for something mystical or cool, but instead he gave the two answers taht to me soudned so bland and generic: prayer and reading the bible. I was so bummed out cause i didnt have the discipline to go through with that as a kid but now i realize how much more rewarding it is. One of my other major goals is to stop having such roller coaster highs and lows, and having a daily devotional and walk really helps with that. I see myself holding back my anger or such for little things, when usually i just explode. It's helped also with lust and pride. But i also know this isnt enough and that i gotta constantly strive to improve this. I signed up for this really cool email thing that gives like, a psalm, proverb, parable/story, mini sermon, and pm bible passages. Well i hope we dont get snowed in tomorrow, cuase in that case ill see you all soon?

Happy New Years!

So i was at the YMCA the other day and i noticed there were a lot of people in the treadmill room. I'm not surprised since this is around the time for New Years resolutions. I'm sure for the typical American, losing weight or getting in shape is always at the top of their list and is perennially one of the first to be lost. I can't really say that losing 15 lbs. or getting that six-pack is on my to do list, but i havent really made any definitive resolutions yet. But two days ago, during the new years eve sermon by pastor Kim got me thinking in a good way. If this whole Christianity thing for real to us, shouldnt everything about it be real to us? As in not just the Shepard God and God the father, but God almighty, and our perfect God? Isn't the God we worship the one who created the stars and the heavens? Is this not the God that parted the Red Sea and gave life to the dead? And yet often times i catch myself praying for such little things. I pray with this kind of mindset at times, 'You know God if you can do this that'd be really cool. But if not, that's alright. I mean i know i've asked for it a lot of times so if it doesnt happen this time then ill just ask again later.' So what's one of my resolutions this year? I want to pray with earnest expectation for things that seem out of reach. We're not praying to the god of our own limited abilities. We're talking about the God with all the power and all the glory. So what type of prayers am i talking about? Im talking about my school which seems too engrossed in sin to ever be saved. I'm talking about seeing this church grow into the hundreds. I'm also talking about entire nations being saved from religious oppression.

Exodus 15:11-12 Who is like unto thee, O LORD, among the gods? who is like thee, glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing wonders? Thou stretchedst out thy right hand, the earth swallowed them.