Better Than I Deserve

The next time someone asks me how I'm doing, that's how i want to respond - better then i deserve. I'm sheepishly blogging to say that I just finished reading The Cross Centered Life by C.J. Mahaney, the book I got from the last retreat at Keswick. But thank the Lord that I did read it. I can honestly say that God completely answered my specifically requested prayers with this book. I've never had such a book understand my situation so exactly.

The book begins with a very simple statement that almost christian has heard, the gospel. But then it asks a question that I would strongly suggest that every christian born into the church should ask, 'What's your life centered on?'. One of the biggest problems I've had was legalism; I based my faith on my own abilities. Depending on how much sin I've committed and the level of sin I've committed, were the basis of how I'm doing with God. The problem with that mindset is that I am a sinner whose weakness is just ridiculous. The even bigger problem with that attitude is how Mahaney puts it very simply- I mix up justification with sanctification. I tell myself, 'O man I sinned again, jeez how many times is God gonna forgive me for that one.'

I'm not trying to lessen my faults but i really feel like a large part of this problem is because of the fact i grew up in the church. I know a countless number of people who grew up in the church that honestly cannot recite to me the gospel. People go through years of bible study and CCD classes and dont learn what's most important. Also, we begin to start "spinning plates". Mahaney gave a nice analogy where this guy is taking plates and putting them on tiny stick and spins them. One by one, he continues to add more plates so eventually he's spinning like a million of them. Every time one starts to slow down, he has to frantically run back to spin a slowed down one to make sure it doesnt fall. 'I read the bible this morning and i didn't curse at all today, but i forget to share the gospel to someone. Crap, just lost 10 christian points there. Saturday service sure is gonna be bad now.'

It's such a slap in the forehead to think that my problem could have been solved by the the foundation of my whole faith. Because of the gospel i can approach God with confidence, not because i had a 'good christian week', but because Jesus led a sinless life all the way to his finished mission. God won't see my faults, but instead Jesus' lack of faults. That is why i am free and sin will never take hold of me. In fact, sin should acutally magnify the cross. He is made strong is our weakness. Every time we fail, that should just make the cross even more evident and powerful. Like the most recent sermon, we're just a jar of clay. I know that sin is inevitable, but the cross is unchangeable.

I know a lot of books and songs talk about a child-like faith, which is literally what i had. It was just an accepted fact to me that God existed. I was taught at a young age that God created the world and the universe and he was and is forever and ever. But i learned other things from Sunday school and small groups etc etc. However, i love the way Mahaney put it, the gospel isn a class amongst many other christian classes. The gospel is the building in which all other classes are learned. Anything and everything that is taught as far as Christianity is inside the walls of the gospel.

If anyone can relate to what I'm talking about, i strongly suggest reading this book. To those people who grew up in the church, and didnt have a radical conversion like me, read the book and be careful of legalism, basing your passion or relationship with God by your own works. I really only talked about the jist of the book, and there is a lot more specific stuff about how to make your life a cross centered one. A really good read, very specific, backed up by the bible, not complex, and just plain amazing.

lol btw, i really dont know how blogspot works. How come you can comment on certain posts and not others?