Body Of Christ

For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ. For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body-whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free-and have all been made to drink into one Spirit. For in fact the body is not one member but many. 1 Corinthians 12:12-14


I read this passage this morning with two other members of my christian club and it was great timing to read what it had to say. The passage talks about the body of Christ. We're all unified together and even though our roles may be different, we all depend on each other. Later on in the chapter it talks about the different roles or body parts. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I am not of the body". Despite the different roles of because of the different gifts and talents granted to us, it does not mean one is more or less a part of the body. Sometimes it may feel like we're only but a toenail, but really the hand relies on the toenail, just as the toenail relies on the hand. Pastor Kim leaving really tears my heart. I think back at all the times Tim invited me over his house, the bbq's the sleepovers, just everything. Never have i ever seen them complain, or get angry at us. It would take me forever to give back anywhere close to what they've given me. I remember when the pastor for the american congregation back in our old church spoke to us about feeding our ox, pastor kim. In a sense, it feels like i personally have failed them in supporting them. But i know both are stronger then i can ever imagine. He was the head of our church, but that doesnt mean we've lost our identity. We still belong to the body of christ no matter what.

memento

Hey all, i've been having a pretty chill break. Sorry for those who had school lol. Im gonna base my entire blog of a really really interesting movie, so if you plan on watching memento, i suggest you dont read this lol. So Memento is about lenny, who doesnt have short memory. His wife was being attacked and raped, and lenny tries to save her. However, he gets thrown into a mirror, and loses all short term memory after that incident. Basically he cant remember anything past 15 minutes. Even though he doesnt remember anything, he leaves clues, notes, photos to help him remember his issue and his wife. His entire life's purpose is now to find the murderer of his wife. Even though he wont remember him killing the man, thats all he does now. The movie acutally goes in reverse chronological order, so you see the last thing that happens. It's kinda like a puzzle b/c you try and figure out who to believe, what acutally happened. Now here's the spoiler, the last thing that happens, or the first scene, is him killing who he thinks is the real murderer. The last scene, as in the firs tthing that happens, is that he acutally killed the man a long time ago. But since he knows he wont remember antyhing he takes advantage of that and gives himself fake clues to just keep killing more supposed murderers to give his life meaning.


It was a shocking ending to me, to see how much you deceive yourself, stray away from truth, just to find a pseudo purpose in life. That might seem like a hyperbole for society, and what they're looking for, but i dont neccessarily think thats true. So many people are seeking these phantoms and ghosts that are so unbelievably unachievable. Parents pushing their kids to Harvard, stalkers, athletes using steriods, etc etc. I mean really, lenny faking a life isnt that far fetched to alot of people. So then we have to ask ourselves, what the difference b/w lenny and christians? Lenny's chasing someone that doesnt exist anymore, we're looking for something that can't be physically seen or heard or touched. So then what's the biggest difference because to Lenny, his own purpose at the end of the day feels just as real or even more real then our own purpose. The biggest difference is absolute truth. Period. Becuase really, if we didnt have the absolute truth that there is a God, and that he sent his only Son to die on a cross for our sins, if that isnt true, we're undoubtedly Lenny. But since we do have truth, we can continue to progress is whatever plan God does have for each and everyone of us because we know there will be consequence in what we do or do not do. We dont live our lives just for our own satisfaction, because then once we hit a rough patch we should just give up. But we dont, we perservere.

getting it done

Last tuesday my school had christian club, and for one reason or another not many people showed up. I think there was only around 10 kids but i found that meeting more rewarding then any of the other ones. I guess cause most of us are asian, we feel uncomfortable sharing our feelings, but since it was such a small group it was easier for people to talk. The question asked for everyone was what they're spiritual highs and lows were during the past year. I gave my answer first. I said my high was during the summer becuase i got to hang out with the kids at church a lot and i ended up going to church many times every week. There was also the retreat which was a real blessing. Then i said my low was during midterms because school often times has priority over everything basically. It's really hard to try and prioritize everything when literally everyone around you, including your parents, tell you that school is most important. So as i heard other people share, i found that a lot of them had the same exact answer as me. It was encouraging to hear them talk about their spiritual walks, but at the same thing it was discouraging to hear how all of us were succumbing to the same issues and pressures. When i was thinking about this issue, i was saying to myself, "Man senior year is gonna be great then. i wont have to worry about school." But then what does that say to God? Becuase what im basically saying is, i dont got the time right now so God just wait a couple months. Is that right? Absolutely not. I know it's gonna be hard but im really hoping that i don't waste this junior year. There's so much to offer God by sacrificing yourself at your most vulnerable point. I just want to humble myself so much to the point that i have no other option BUT to fall on my knees in front of God. No more excuses. No more rationalizing.

quiet hands

That you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you -1 Thessalonians 4:11


This was the verse i read this morning at my school. It's really a blessing to have that; a lot of times i take it for granted or it even seems like a burden, but i really gotta put it in perspective. My chem teacher from sophomore year opens the door for me everyday, he's a devout christian, and its just great to have a room for prayer. So i read that part of the passage about pride. Even though the new years already passed, i can still be in semi-reflection mood. I know one of the biggest character flaws when i was younger was pride. It still is an issue, but now that i look back i realize God has really helped and shaped me into what he has planned.

The way you do your actions is just as important as the actions themselves. I was talking to my friend who goes to church every week and teaches little kids bible stories, but hates life. He takes anti-depression pills and just is constantly questioning life. To an outsider at his church, they'll probably see a fake smile and a big cross and just pass by without thinking he's going through certain problems. And at the same time, there's kids that are learning the bible from him. He's doing all the right things, and saying the right words, yet his heart is stone.

lol it was awkward when i asked him if he wanted to go to church with me because he acutally goes every sunday. But im hoping whoever reads this, you can pray for him. Hopefully God can shed some light onto him.

under the sun

"What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with
which he labors under the sun?"

So after a tumultuous week, im finally done with midterms and sat's. I really don't wanna talk about the tests themselves, so im gonna talk about the people instead. In my town, school and grades are really important. Let me emphasize that again, REALLY IMPORTANT. Everyday theres someone going crazy about a test, a school that they're waiting for a reply, some science team, an extra credit question on a US test etc etc. But during a midterm, that kind of seems to compound itself into this huge snowball of anxiety. Kids study for hours upon hours and just go crazy really. I try to rationalize how this all started; part of the monster was its own doing. All the competition just makes everyone that much more insane. Alot of it has to do with rich parents and high expectations. I remember one time, Karen's mom gave me a ride home. Karen is in the 7th grade and i tutor her in math. Her mom sounded so exasperated. this is was sort of her words, "I just dont understand why karen has so much trouble studying. Every other korean kid seems to be doing so well except karen. I just dont know what to do with her."

So what im really trying to say is that its really hard sometimes to pray to God for help in school so that i can use my talents and gifts later on to improve God's kingdown becuase so much of rewards of success that the world preach is selfish. People constantly tell you to make enough money so that you can live it up when you grow up with no worries. I become hesitant when my mom tells me to pray before hte SAT's becuase i wonder what my true motivation is to do well on the test. To be honest, i really just wanna do well so that my parents stop yelling at me. I wish i could compartmentalize all that other junk with college and money, and make it very simple. God has given me gifts. I want to use it to my full potential. The fruits that i then bear are all for God. I wish i could make it that simple.

Receiving help

"Fear not, you worm Jacob, You men of Israel! I will help you, says the Lord And your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel." Isiah 41:14

This was the verse that came up for this morning in this daily email type thing. I read over the chapter and i'm glad i read it because its been pretty hectic with school and all at this point. I find myself asking help for a lot of things but i just say it very routinely. Sometimes i also feel like things such as tests in school and sats are too selfish to ask help from God, and so when i focus on it so much i feel guilty. But i think what's more important then exactly what you pray about, is that you pray for everything. What i mean is that i want to ask God for help in every aspecto f my life because i want him to be in control of everything, including maybe the trivial things. Alot of times the little things end up becoming a lot more then you expect at first.
"Tis much for thee to need but it is nothing for me to bestow." That verse was really comforting becuase i know that there's nothing to much for God, or that God will always have time for me, even when i dont wanna make time for him. So next time im having an argument with a friend, or someone asks for a favor, iwant to ask God for his help so that i'm doing things that the way he wants me to do them, even the little things.

discipline

Hey, i remembered to post on time! wooo


This week has been pretty wierd, we came back from break and midterms/sat's are coming up. But with the retreat we just had in mind, im trying to work on discipline. I remember one time my old pastor gave a sermon on how to improve your relationship with christ. I was kinda hoping for something mystical or cool, but instead he gave the two answers taht to me soudned so bland and generic: prayer and reading the bible. I was so bummed out cause i didnt have the discipline to go through with that as a kid but now i realize how much more rewarding it is. One of my other major goals is to stop having such roller coaster highs and lows, and having a daily devotional and walk really helps with that. I see myself holding back my anger or such for little things, when usually i just explode. It's helped also with lust and pride. But i also know this isnt enough and that i gotta constantly strive to improve this. I signed up for this really cool email thing that gives like, a psalm, proverb, parable/story, mini sermon, and pm bible passages. Well i hope we dont get snowed in tomorrow, cuase in that case ill see you all soon?